By Wise people know that you don’t have to repeat somebody else’s mistakes in order to learn what they learned. Instead, you can gain wisdom by learning from the mistakes of other people. This is what I hope we can do with the story of Samson and Delilah.
You may already be familiar with Samson’s story (you can read about it in Judges 13-16), but let’s dive a little deeper and see how it can serve as several life-changing lessons for us today.
First, it’s important to note that Samson was a miracle child. Samson’s parents weren’t able to conceive, but one day an angel of the LORD appeared and told them they would have a child. This child was to be set apart as a Nazirite and he would be Israel’s deliverer from the Philistines.
A Nazirite was an Israelite who was set apart from culture by abstaining from alcohol, not cutting his hair, and avoiding contact with dead bodies. The purpose of a Nazirite was to more intensely focus on God and godliness while making a greater difference for the Lord.
However, throughout his life we see that Samson continually violated his vow and God’s law on many occasions by living to please his flesh. He was born with great potential and expectation, but due to his carefree way of living and not being appreciative of the calling over his life, he wasted it. Unfortunately, Samson didn’t live up to his full potential.
God blessed him with great supernatural strength (he was one of the strongest men to live), but often times Samson used his gift unwisely. For example, Samson did something that someone who was not even a Nazirite wouldn’t do!
Judges 16:1 “One day Samson went to the Philistine town of Gaza and spent the night with a prostitute.”
Simply put, he was controlled by his hormones. He continued to use his abilities and gifts for selfish purposes and fleshly pleasures as he lived a life of sexual immorality – this brings us to how he met Delilah.
While it was never God’s will for Samson to be with Delilah, at the end of the day we are given free will and each person has a choice to make. Samson was willful in pursuing Delilah despite it going against the very law God gave the Israelites.
Be careful not to make a treaty with those who live in the land; for when they prostitute themselves to their gods and sacrifice to them, they will invite you and you will eat their sacrifices. And when you choose some of their daughters as wives for your sons and those daughters prostitute themselves to their gods, they will lead your sons to do the same.
Exodus 34: 15-16
The Israelites were warned to not make any covenants with the idolatrous nations around them for several reasons. One of these reasons was specifically so that no intermarriages would take place! This was because the idolatrous wives from the surrounding lands would persuade and seduce the Israelites into Pagan worship of other gods and their idols.
Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, for they will turn your children away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you.
Deuteronomy 7: 3-4
So as we see, Samson chose not to obey this command. As we read on, we discover the consequences he suffered as a result of his disobedience.
Samson and Delilah
Judges 16: 4-9
4 Some time later Samson fell in love with a woman named Delilah, who lived in the valley of Sorek. 5 The rulers of the Philistines went to her and said, “Entice Samson to tell you what makes him so strong and how he can be overpowered and tied up securely. Then each of us will give you 1,100 pieces of silver (about 3 years worth of wages).” So Delilah said to Samson, “Please tell me what makes you so strong and what it would take to tie you up securely.” Samson replied, “If I were tied up with seven new bowstrings that have not yet been dried, I would become as weak as anyone else.” So the Philistine rulers brought Delilah seven new bowstrings, and she tied Samson up with them. 9 She had hidden some men in one of the inner rooms of her house, and she cried out, “Samson! The Philistines have come to capture you!” But Samson snapped the bowstrings as a piece of string snaps when it is burned by a fire. So the secret of his strength was not discovered.
So basically what’s going on in this passage is Delilah, the woman who Samson loved (notice how it never says that Delilah loved him back), accepts a bribe from the Philistine rulers who wanted to kill Samson. She was to find out his secret about what makes him so strong and set him up to be captured by them.
We see that Delilah LITERALLY asks Samson directly what the secret is to his strength and what it would take to tie him up securely… first major red flag alert! Samson then lies and tells her his secret is something which it actually was not. Delilah wastes no time and immediately tries what he told her it was – she ties him up with seven new bowstrings. If that’s not a red flag I don’t know what is! But just wait – there’s more!
Then, instantly after Delilah ties him up, the Philistine rulers appear and try to capture him – but of course since that wasn’t really Samson’s secret, he was able to escape. If Samson missed the first red flag and the second red flag, surely he wouldn’t miss the third major one, right?! Hello! Right after Delilah asked him for his secret and tied him up, the Philistine rulers somehow instantly appeared to try and capture him… I mean, that’s as sketchy as it gets!
Now as we continue to read we find out Delilah, instead of being thrilled that he escaped, actually becomes upset with Samson that he didn’t tell her the truth! By this point you’re probably thinking, “C’mon! How much more obvious can things get?!”
So then she asks him again. Once more he lies to her, once more she ties him up and once again the Philistine rulers somehow magically appear and try and attack him. Of course, since he lied about his secret strength again he was able to escape. You’re probably reading this thinking, “Surely THIS must have been the final red flag for Samson to leave Delilah!” But you’d be wrong.
Delilah tried this a third time! Once again it fails. We continue to read in Judges 16 verse 15 which states,
15 Then Delilah pouted, “How can you tell me, ‘I love you,’ when you don’t share your secrets with me? You’ve made fun of me three times now, and you still haven’t told me what makes you so strong!” 16 She tormented him with her nagging day after day until he was sick to death of it.
Brace yourself because this next verse will probably make you want to facepalm… maybe even hit your head against the wall.
17 Finally, Samson shared his secret with her. “My hair has never been cut,” he confessed, “for I was dedicated to God as a Nazirite from birth. If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become as weak as anyone else.”
I’ll let that sink in.
18 Delilah realized he had finally told her the truth, so she sent for the Philistine rulers. “Come back one more time,” she said, “for he has finally told me his secret.” So the Philistine rulers returned with the money in their hands. 19 Delilah lulled Samson to sleep with his head in her lap, and then she called in a man to shave off the seven locks of his hair. In this way she began to bring him down, and his strength left him. 20 Then she cried out, “Samson! The Philistines have come to capture you! When he woke up, he thought, “I will do as before and shake myself free.” But he didn’t realize the Lord had left him. 21 So the Philistines captured him and gouged out his eyes. They took him to Gaza, where he was bound with bronze chains and forced to grind grain in the prison.
When I first read that I was instantly thinking HOW? How could Samson be so foolish and actually tell Delilah the truth about what causes him to lose his strength and be captured (especially after all those times he lied to her and the Philistines would show up to try and capture him)? How did he trust her with his secret after all those red flags? Why did he now decide to tell her the truth when he saw she became upset instead of thrilled over the fact that they didn’t capture him the first 3 times?
Then I realized: Samson was a fool for love.
He was so blinded by his feelings that he kept overlooking the blatant red flags. Samson allowed himself to be deceived by Delilah because he was clearly afraid of losing her. Even though we may read this story now and think to ourselves how foolish Samson was – the truth is that we’re just as foolish sometimes with the people we choose to date too!
Sometimes we know on the inside we shouldn’t be dating or entertaining a particular person in our life because they are no good for us. They drag us into a lifestyle of lying, lust, drunkenness, sexual immorality, etc. yet because we’re so afraid of losing them or letting them down, we decide to compromise in order to keep someone who was never meant to be in our life. This is what Samson did, and quite frankly this is something many of us do in our daily lives too.
So how can we avoid being deceived like this?
1. Use Wisdom In Who You Date
We see what happened with Samson when he didn’t seek God’s wisdom for who he chose to date – he got deceived. The best way to avoid such deceptions would be to find out what God’s word says about dating, but even then we must have wisdom in order to have discernment in our relationships and not ignore red flags when we see them!
You can start by examining your motives for why you want to be in a relationship with this person. Is it just because you are really attracted to this person physically? Could it be lust? Are you trying to date for the purpose of finding someone to fill your emptiness? Is it because you’re lonely?
Carefully examine your heart, motives and intentions for wanting to be in a relationship with someone. We should never look for a relationship or another person to heal us or fill our emptiness, loneliness, etc because you would be setting yourself up for failure. No person will ever be able to do that for you – only God can do that. We can’t expect things from other people that only God can actually give to us.
"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." - James 1:5, NIV.
2. Avoid Compromising Your Values and Principles
Samson compromised and broke his covenant with God in order to try and win Delilah’s love, but instead of winning her love, she only led him to his downfall. If you have to make compromises with God in order to keep a relationship then that is a surefire sign that that relationship isn’t from God. And if your relationship isn’t from God, it would be foolish to expect it to be fruitful or good for your future and purpose.
What does making compromises with God for a relationship look like? It can start with making excuses to not attend church. Then it may escalate to making excuses for why you “don’t have time” to read the word or pray as much anymore. Slowly but surely, when you start making “little” compromises for the sake of your relationship, it will eventually cause you to drift away from God – and we saw with Samson and Delilah that such a relationship never ends well!
3. Be Patient – Give it Some Time
We have to be patient and give things the time they need to unfold. Sooner or later your date’s true colors will be revealed – but it’s up to you on whether you’ll be like Samson and ignore the red flags. Delilah was never interested in Samson’s strengths, she was only after his weakness. If we practice patience and lean to God for guidance, He will not let us be deceived by wasting too much time on someone who isn’t meant to be in our life. Continue to seek God, be patient, give it some time and wait to see their true colors and they will be revealed.
Now, let me end this on a positive and encouraging note…
Even though throughout his life Samson made many foolish mistakes and lived recklessly, in spite of his mistakes, God still used him in the end. The Philistines captured him, but Samson prayed that God may restore his strength one final time so that he may die having defeated the enemy – and that’s exactly what happened. In the end, despite the fact that Samson was captured and enslaved, God granted him back his strength so that he could finish the work God had intended for him to do all along – he defeated the Philistines.
It’s important to note that The New Testament doesn’t even speak of Samson’s failures. Instead, Samson is mentioned in a positive way and is mentioned in the Hall of Faith as someone who “by faith… received what God had promised.”
It’s true that if from the very beginning Samson was appreciative of the calling from God on his life and took it seriously, he would have avoided repeatedly making the same foolish mistakes. Yes, Samson could have also had a greater impact and not have died the way he did, but even despite of Samson’s reckless ways and mistakes – God is a deliverer! In the end God used Samson’s failures and turned it into a victory.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
While Samson certainly suffered great as a result of his own wrong choices, God still used Samson’s mistakes to expose the wickedness of the Philistines (who sought the destruction of God’s people) and ultimately judge and destroy them!
If we want to reach our full potential, it’s best we don’t delay and wait for the “perfect moment” to surrender our ways to God. No matter what you’ve done in the past or where you are today as the result of your previous mistakes, take heart. Samson’s story is also one that teaches it’s not too late for us to start over and start walking on the path God has for us.
