Don’t Let Your Needs Become an Inconvenience

Everyone has certain needs – not simply wants or desires, but actual needs in a relationship. It’s not only vital that you actually understand the difference between your own wants and your actual needs in order to communicate them, but it’s also important to discover what your partner’s needs are in the beginning stages and understand how to get them met.

Side-note: A great way to get to know your partner’s emotional needs is to learn their love language. Everyone expresses love differently so learning each other’s love language is vital to avoiding miscommunication and meeting your partner’s innermost expectations. You can take the Love Languages Quiz at http://5lovelanguages.com.

Here’s the Issue:

The problem is that what a lot of us tend to do when we become so attracted to someone and start developing feelings for them is that we either somehow magically forget all of our needs or we just put them on the back burner. All of a sudden we start to loosen our boundaries and lower our standards which results in us accepting a lesser treatment than what we deserve.

You know the feeling: you go out of your way to free up your schedule and prioritize them meanwhile they barely have time to even send you a single text message in the week! You start settling for an occasional “Good Morning” text here and there, only meeting up on their time frame, only talking when it’s convenient for them or simply being another “option” for someone. Of course, most of us typically are not aware when this starts to happen because we are so quick to give into our feelings that we never actually stop for a minute and observe the real situation. Before you know it, your needs have turned into an inconvenience… that’s a mic-drop moment right there.

Remember This:

If someone is truly interested in you and if they are serious about wanting to pursue something then they will put in an effort without you having to do all of the work, making all of the plans and working your entire schedule around this person. Some of us are so used to doing that that we actually start to believe it’s normal! Newsflash: it’s not! Your effort and investment should be reciprocated. You won’t have to beg them to show some effort or give you some attention because they will already know what you deserve.

God will never send you someone that can’t reciprocate the same level of investment in your relationship. So please, I beg you, do not allow your needs to turn into an inconvenience for anyone. It’s not worth it. If a person is not willing or simply doesn’t care enough to make an effort to help meet your needs, then that person is not worth your energy and time.

I’ll end with this: I read a quote that talks about how many people say “they let me down”, when in reality, “they” never let you down, you saw who that person was in the beginning but chose to ignore the signs and red flags. So really, it’s we that are letting ourselves down when we decide to stay and remain in something God is clearly not a part of.