Are You Ready for Marriage?

If I were to ask you what is the most important thing on your wedding day, what would you say? Perhaps you’ll say it’s the bride’s dress. Maybe you’ll say it’s the rings. The venue. The food and drink caterers. Or how about making sure both the bride and the groom actually show up?

What if I told you it’s none of those things? What if I told you that the most important thing on your wedding day is your past. That’s right, you read that correctly – your past! Well, you say, how is your past the most important thing on your wedding day?

Anyone can make the promise “I do”, but if your past proves that you can’t actually live up to it, then it really doesn’t matter how many times you say “I do” – you still won’t be able to live up to what you are promising!

Ever wonder why we have such a big issue nowadays with overpromising and under-committing? What if people actually spent more time preparing themselves to be someone that can actually live up to the promises of “for better or for worse” and “for richer or for poorer” before getting married?

My point is this: if your past repeatedly shows that you are unreliable, leave as soon as you feel the slightest bit of boredom in relationships and are quick to give up when things get hard – a simple “I do” on your wedding day won’t change that.

I heard a great example of this: Imagine you’re broke and need to borrow 1 million dollars from the bank. Let’s say you somehow rent the finest suit from Ermenegildo Zegna or the most chic outfit you can find from Chanel. You pair that with a Rolex or some Cartier jewelry. Then, you rent, steal or borrow (whatever you need to do) a Rolls Royce and pull up to the bank. You step out, walking with the utmost confidence and importance with every step and you say, “Let me speak to the CEO of the bank.” They’re like, “Do you have an appointment?” to which you respond with “Do you see me? Do you see my car?” They finally get you to speak with somebody and you tell them you want a million dollars.

Here’s a few things they’re probably going to ask you for: your full name, address, driver’s license number, social security, etc. Why? They are not just going to blindly take your word for it! Sure you may look like you’ve got it all together (you’re well presented, expensive outfits and car), but they are going to look at the past several years of your history in order to tell you what your future will look like!

Is marriage not much more valuable than money? This is an example of what happens when we set our foundation on the wrong thing. Perhaps instead of rushing to get married we slow down and ask ourselves if our past will work for us to back up what it is we are promising when we say “I do.”

Have you proven yourself to be a reliable person? Do you keep your word? Are you trustworthy? Are you committed to staying even when things get difficult or there are financial struggles or countless arguments?

Until you get to that place, it might be better to hold off on getting married. Work on becoming a better man or woman of your word before committing your life to someone. Ask God to help you do this. If you’re currently single, instead of focusing and dwelling on the fact that you are “alone” in this season, ask God to prepare you. If you’re currently dating – ask God to do the same! It doesn’t matter what your current status is – whether you are single or in a relationship, it’s always a smart idea to start actually preparing yourself to be marriage material.